That Ugly Monster Named Anxiety

Anxiety, we all have some form of it...some little thing that we aren't confident about and worry about. Some **raising hand** may have anxiety about things in more then one area...Doctors, Dentists, driving on unfamiliar roads at night, driving with less then a quarter tank of gas, moving, meeting new people, writing on the blog that I have been contributing to for five years (ya, this one. Do you know how many posts I have saved and never posted, or posts that I end up deleting because I don't think they are worthy of being read by others? I may be a little crazy.)...do I need to go on ;) 

I think all of my "triggers" are normal things that other people also experience anxiety about, and a lot of them have been put to the test with the life we lead...you know that whole military family thing. Ya, that whole moving every couple of years...leaving friends and familiar surroundings...driving cross country on unfamiliar roads possibly with the low gas light on...having to meet new people and make a new network of friends (I guess I don't have to make friends, but those darn schools require you to have backups listed in case of an emergency). Thankfully over the years I have been blessed with neighbors that have genuinely been friendly and families associated with J's job that go out of their way to invite us to functions. So I set aside the anxiety and try my best to think positive thoughts...no one is looking at my crazy hair, that blemish on my nose, that dribbled food on my shirt...have I convinced you yet that I exude self confidence?  But you know what, they aren't looking at any of those things...at least if they are they aren't judging me too harshly and still invite me to the next function. So for the most part I have accepted that I can get over my anxiety and be a "normal" social person, and I can be a role model for the boys.

One of the biggest challenges I feel we have as a military family is the well being of our boys. We have called 5 states "home" since we have had M. We have had 8 different houses over 10 years and have even had to call one or two hotel rooms "home" spending more then a month in a temporary location while J receives training. It hasn't been the most stable of an environment at times for the boys with all the different transitions we have made. Saying goodbye to friends and trying to make new ones has been a challenge. Just like me, my boys have anxieties about what people think of them (which is a totally normal thing I hear). We have had outbursts, afternoons of crying over friends that we have had to say good-bye to, and plenty of wishes of going back to a previous home and situation.

We have gone as far as calling Military One Source for one of our boys, and being referred to a kind gentleman named George to talk to. We have seen how having another adult to help us sort out our feelings and help develop more self confidence has changed the way he feels about himself. Over the last couple of months since starting his occasional afternoon chats with George he has made more friends, has developed more positive self worth and outlook on his future, and has started dealing with his own anxiety. For any of the military families out there reading this and maybe going through a similar situation I highly recommend looking into the Military One Source program. It gives you 12 free confidential counseling sessions, that are not reported back in a formal way or kept in a government permanent file that could one day be used against you or your childs future.

No one said being a military family would be easy...or that raising children while moving several times, going through deployments, being thousands of miles away and isolated from family, and having so many uncertainties in life would be fun. Thankfully there are resources that we can use, friends going through the same thing and willing to host play dates/mommy time, and understanding family members willing to listen to venting or willing to occasionally travel thousands of miles to visit.

We will keep trying to do what is best for our family while we are on this wild military adventure we call our life. There have been some ups and some downs, but overall I wouldn't change one thing about  being a military proud family.